Chronicles of a super tall woman

I like him, he’s cool. I wanna talk to him, pick his mind, talk about life. if only he can come closer, say hi, give me an awkward “strangers” hug. Poor guy eventually catches on and walks over then oh-ooh, I can see the top of his head!!!!

Where are all the tall men out there?

I wanna cuddle up in bed next to him and feel like a tiny, protected, fragile me and disappear in his arms. Instead of trying to bend my legs so they don’t stick out in bed, and curl up behind him so he doesn’t realise my legs can go as far as his waist.

I want to be lifted off my feet and spun around like a 5-year-old. And kissed all the way to the bedroom in his arms.

Instead of walking all the way there with my head hanging low because, poor guy thought he had muscle enough to carry all 171cm of me.

And rather found himself bruised all round balancing with everything in sight before finally, with the last breath remaining in him, throws in the towel and admits defeat.

Unlike most women I know, shoe shopping becomes the worst pain of them all, not because my feet are so big they only fit in the men’s section.

To the contrary, they are a perfect 4, but every pair I fall in love with means that I bow down at every door and everyone talking to me starts suffering from neck strains looking up at me.

Thank Gawd the “turned-up” pants and jeans have become the trend, saving you from being embarrassed about your pants and jeans that never quite touch the ankle (qatha out)… lol.

Hair up-dos have become a no-no, you are already taller than everyone else in the club, men women combined, you don’t wanna make matters worse extending the inches!!!

The store version of a micro mini skirt is enough to cover your waist, or perhaps be creative and make it a boob tube, otherwise stick to the normal ones that serve to cover everyone else’s legs but yours.

 You see the runway called life?

Walk tall, Tallie.

Giraffes get to taste the freshest, ripest fruits without much effort.

Isn’t that awesome?

So can you,

Enjoy the ripest fruits of life.

Be You!

Step-up

Step-up

A mantra I chant to myself every morning, day, evening and night.

Step up to being a good mom, achieve your career goals, buy that house, pay off those debts, go to that girls’ night out, go home to be with family, go to that festival even if you’re alone.

Step up and be the best you can be.

Every time there are two steps up, there is one step down. Yes, it doesn’t just all work out at once. Conflict is part of it, those you love and loath evenly. You lose some, you win some, eventually you conquer the demons, the skies clear up and opportunities arise, amends are made, goals are achieved and new goals come up.

There is a price to pay; with every step up there is a hefty price to pay. You spend time with the kids so they are happy. You still worry about the work you are supposed to complete before Monday, and the 15th outing with the girls that you have turned down.

There is only one you, and you are not able to do it all at once. There are no limits or targets other than the ones you set for yourself. In your time, when you can, you will do it, in the order that you arrange yourself.

You know your priorities, and challenges, you deal with your demons, you face the wrath, you have every right to choose and live by your choices. If it is on anyone else’s clock, nothing will be achieved, and you will forever be wondering why it is so.

Stick to your beliefs, values, goals and targets, if you don’t live yours, you will adopt everyone else’s and you have no idea why they are.

It will be challenging, it will be worth it.

If it’s yours, nobody else’s.

My BBBEE status

I have discovered that the minute a man says they are self-employed; they instantly lose credibility to me.

The first thing that rings in mind is that they are not stable financially, and could potentially be a burden.

Unlike me and my employed fellows, most times they are never sure of when they will be compensated, and never have enough funds to last them until their next cash inflow. Holiday plans get cancelled at the last minute and there are always promises of a better life that never comes!!

This is not to say employed people always have money, we probably have less money than anyone else because we are always funding our lifestyles with credit.

But at the same time we all know exactly when we will be receiving compensation for our hard work, and exactly how much it will be, and we can plan our lives around that knowledge.

Maybe we enjoy the comfort zone and are not brave enough to explore our full potential,

seize business opportunities that arise.

Perhaps we could end up stressed and frustrated that we never make enough to drive luxurious vehicles and have posh houses etc. but whenever I come across most “self-employed businessmen” I count myself lucky and content with the peanuts I earn disguised as a salary.

Maybe I might even commit myself to another 2 years of post-graduate studies just so I can qualify to apply for that promotion that will give me an extra R2000 a month. Despite the fact that at that time the extra cash will just be making up for the inflation that is never accounted for by the meager annual salary increments.

This seems like a better option for me because, the picture I see about being self-employed is that, should I decide to resign and pursue my interests and business ventures independently, I will live from hand to mouth not knowing when my next paycheck will come. I will have to suck up to every government official and businessman just so they can be kind enough to award me the tender, even though I will be required to hand a huge percentage of the profits back into their greedy pockets.

I will have to be that person who is seen driving a flashy car just so the potential investors can have confidence in you and subcontract you, even though I go to bed every night praying that the bank does not repossess the car, the installments are so long overdue they could show up at the mall and take what’s theirs.

My friends will start doubting everything I say because I happen to owe each and every one of them with the promise that the R18 million invoice that has been submitted will be paid anytime now, meanwhile I just need enough to live and hang out with family and friends without being seen like a poor old sponge guy that never pays for anything. And when the invoice is eventually paid out, after having paid the greedy officials, repaid all the family and friends I owe, paid just enough portion of the arrears on my car to keep it for another month or 2, I will be left with nothing!! And the cycle begins; borrow from everyone with promises of yet another tender I am yet to be awarded.

Eventually I will realize that the business world is not as easy as everyone makes it out to be, and doesn’t guarantee riches either. At that point I will admit defeat and decide to go back to fulltime employment and start looking for a real job. By that time my skills will be obsolete as technologies advance, and all the peers I had will have progressed to being top shots, and the degree I dropped halfway not helping either because the minimum requirements have been escalated to postgraduate qualifications.

At that point I will realize that it is time I start from the beginning, middle-aged, bitter at the entire world and proclaiming how I almost made it as a millionaire in business, if only the officials were not as greedy and had proper support from potential investors.

“I don’t love you anymore”

The Moon is full today

And it’s in Scorpio!

Truths only

I dared into my private blog roll and discovered ramblings of interesting read including this story, which I have kept in my treasure chest called WordPress for 8 years!

Today we air the chest and clear the air!

For we now know better,

we are more confident,

and we see clearly!

With SPIRIT EYES

CALLED LOVE.

The unconditional type of LOVE,

SELF-LOVE.

Did I really cry and pine over a heartbreak that long???

As above, so below

Ncumisa Nomna Mbusi – 07 May 2020

On the 3rd November, exactly 3 months today, I was told, “I don’t love you anymore”.

It was in the morning, I knew his mind and attention had been somewhere else for weeks, but I didn’t see it coming.

I thought to myself, “well, the honeymoon phase is waning he’s mourning that, we will be fine”.

No, we were far from being fine.

It was over.

And I hadn’t seen it coming!!!

You might ask why I state that I didn’t see it coming, when things hadn’t been okay for a short while before that.

Well, the reason is simple and straight forward. It always is for all women.

I thought he will get over it, I thought I will not give him the satisfaction of leaving him because he was acting differently, because then he would walk away guilt free, move on and never look back, I would give him his ticket to freedom.

Yes we had our challenges, but I didn’t want him to leave!

He said it, and I was dumb struck.

I didn’t know what to do nor say.

The shock of this man’s guts!!!

We all know men don’t like being the bad cops hence they always play mind games until you figure it out yourself and make it official.

He was that brave, he told me, just like that, “I don’t love you anymore”.

After 3 months of begging, tears and stalking phone calls and numerous phone calls to my girlfriends, here I am, today, rocking the most daring hairstyle of my entire being, with a killer outfit, trembling and sweaty palms.

I’m supposed to be excited.

By OliaGraphics

The hairstyle worked, I finally got them to notice me and ask for my phone numbers.

I needed them to notice me and ask for my phone numbers. Just so I wouldn’t have to think about him every passing moment of my time hoping and praying he calls, wondering if he will ever say “I was wrong”.

I have not one, but two dates this afternoon.

And I’m ready to break down and cry all over again, coz I remembered, 3 months ago he told me “I don’t love you anymore”.

Lessons were learnt,

key one being,

every person and every chapter is a series of a path and encounters laid out for you to learn the lessons of life, Nomna.

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Learn to embrace every ending,

for it opens an opportunity for new beginnings.

WHO doesn’t want fresh brand spanking NEW?

Ncumisa Nomna Mbusi – 7 May 2020
Photo by Matheus Viana on Pexels.com

Cravings… of a different kind

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Cravings

Let’s talk about cravings. Women have been known to have the weirdest of cravings!! Its starts with PMS, just before that time of the month you find yourself craving all sorts of food you don’t normally think about during the month.

When you fall pregnant, one of the first indicators and changes that a woman experiences is the change in food interests. You crave the weirdest concoctions and unusual foods. Its normal, women experience these at some point in their lives.

The craving that has me typing away this time is a different kind of a craving. I have rarely experienced this before, and no woman openly admits to having these kinds of cravings.

This has come about as a result of my all-of-a-sudden single status. I have never been married, but for as long as I started dating I have always had “someone”.

The significance of that someone has varied from occasional flings, friends with benefits, and boyfriends. They always overlap and there is at least one kind in the picture. They always fulfilled this need. I am not talking about being horny, no.

Then there was that someone special, that you think will stick around for a while, and he left. And my closet was clean, nothing whatsoever. All of a sudden I am craving, a man to sleep next to me. Just sleep, no cushy business, just sleep, and wake up next to me.

My son has been sleeping in my bed, but I have chased him out of my bed, I want a man. That will wake up next to me. That is my craving. And there is nobody to fulfil it.

Why has nobody told me there are such cravings??? How do I fulfil them?