Mind my PMS

Right in the middle of all the fury, I remember, PMS.

Yeah?

It is so funny how idiotic one feels…

When it rings a bell that, “yes, you may have been wronged Ncumisa, no need to take it all the way to town and back!” It’s really not that baad…

Say that to my hormones…. IT’S NOT ME!!!!!

MeMeMe

I have been labelled as vain, self-centred, in love with myself etc.

Maybe I am, don’t blame me, I was born so, and my uncle knew it, before I could even speak, that I will be me, love me, talk about me, embrace me, against all odds. and he named me Nomna, No-Mna, Me, myself and I, in direct translation.

I have been thinking lately, why is it so bad to talk about, share, embrace me? Is it better if I talk about everyone else? Doesn’t that make me a gossipmonger? Umxabanisi? Gqadambekweni?

Every conversation begins with general info, world news, interests, and when that runs out, either you reveal a little bit (to a stranger) or a bit more (to a friend, your people) about yourself. When is it considered vain? If I don’t talk about myself when everything else runs out, I will ask about you, and you will label me as “uthanda indaba zabantu”. If I can’t ask you about you, I have to talk/ask about other people. In my dictionary that is labelled as gossiping.

So, make up your mind, which do you prefer, and inform me, before you label me vain, or a gossip monger. I can do both.

But I prefer to be me, worry about me, do me, love me and talk about me first. Should you choose, I would love to hear about you too!!!!

Can we be friends?

pexels-photo.jpgFirst blog

Well, this is meant to be more of an online journal where i get to express my thoughts, post all the things that make me tick and itsy bitsies that make life interesting.

The idea of a blog was born when i was madly inlove with a certain somebody.Iit was just that, an idea.Until they left, and I did not have anyone to share my thoughts with, and felt guilty about offloading to friends. So, my dearest blog, Can we be friends? I certainly hope so.

See, the thing is when you have someone that you truly UNCONDITIONALLY loved, you can never be friends (I mean the bestest gaz-lam kinda friendship) because they occupied a space that not even friendship can fill in your heart. and its the space that w ill always remain empty as long as they are not in it. because even if someone else comes along, they can never match up to the custom-made space snuggly.

As for the said loved one, friendship doesn’t work because there will always be one party playing guilt trips on the other. They will always feel that (you took a piece of me with you) and can never really innocently appreciate each other without one feeling guilty. You can’t confide in each other because one is vulnerable and doesn’t want to expose that beacuse they don’t want to come across as weak. hence you can never be BFF or BBF kinda thing.

U can only be acquaintances, buddies, “yeah we’re friends” and it doesn’t matter how much time passes it can never change that.

So my dearest loved one, I cannot be friends with you, because everytime you tell me about your perfect weekend outing I will still be thinking about ” Its me you should have been doing that with” behind the smile. And as we celebrate your first born son I will also be thinking deep down ” the kids we always thought we’d have together”.

I’d rather just carry on with life without the reminder of the dream unrealised, so I can eventually hopefully dream up new dreams of my own.

Regards

Beloved Ex