My BBBEE status

I have discovered that the minute a man says they are self-employed; they instantly lose credibility to me.

The first thing that rings in mind is that they are not stable financially, and could potentially be a burden.

Unlike me and my employed fellows, most times they are never sure of when they will be compensated, and never have enough funds to last them until their next cash inflow. Holiday plans get cancelled at the last minute and there are always promises of a better life that never comes!!

This is not to say employed people always have money, we probably have less money than anyone else because we are always funding our lifestyles with credit.

But at the same time we all know exactly when we will be receiving compensation for our hard work, and exactly how much it will be, and we can plan our lives around that knowledge.

Maybe we enjoy the comfort zone and are not brave enough to explore our full potential,

seize business opportunities that arise.

Perhaps we could end up stressed and frustrated that we never make enough to drive luxurious vehicles and have posh houses etc. but whenever I come across most “self-employed businessmen” I count myself lucky and content with the peanuts I earn disguised as a salary.

Maybe I might even commit myself to another 2 years of post-graduate studies just so I can qualify to apply for that promotion that will give me an extra R2000 a month. Despite the fact that at that time the extra cash will just be making up for the inflation that is never accounted for by the meager annual salary increments.

This seems like a better option for me because, the picture I see about being self-employed is that, should I decide to resign and pursue my interests and business ventures independently, I will live from hand to mouth not knowing when my next paycheck will come. I will have to suck up to every government official and businessman just so they can be kind enough to award me the tender, even though I will be required to hand a huge percentage of the profits back into their greedy pockets.

I will have to be that person who is seen driving a flashy car just so the potential investors can have confidence in you and subcontract you, even though I go to bed every night praying that the bank does not repossess the car, the installments are so long overdue they could show up at the mall and take what’s theirs.

My friends will start doubting everything I say because I happen to owe each and every one of them with the promise that the R18 million invoice that has been submitted will be paid anytime now, meanwhile I just need enough to live and hang out with family and friends without being seen like a poor old sponge guy that never pays for anything. And when the invoice is eventually paid out, after having paid the greedy officials, repaid all the family and friends I owe, paid just enough portion of the arrears on my car to keep it for another month or 2, I will be left with nothing!! And the cycle begins; borrow from everyone with promises of yet another tender I am yet to be awarded.

Eventually I will realize that the business world is not as easy as everyone makes it out to be, and doesn’t guarantee riches either. At that point I will admit defeat and decide to go back to fulltime employment and start looking for a real job. By that time my skills will be obsolete as technologies advance, and all the peers I had will have progressed to being top shots, and the degree I dropped halfway not helping either because the minimum requirements have been escalated to postgraduate qualifications.

At that point I will realize that it is time I start from the beginning, middle-aged, bitter at the entire world and proclaiming how I almost made it as a millionaire in business, if only the officials were not as greedy and had proper support from potential investors.

The lowdown on ‘HAIR’piness

pexels-photo-794064.jpeg

Morning blog

I’m home on a Thursday evening watching my favourite TV program, America’s Next Top Model, one of the few that can make me turn down a night out in town with girlfriends. There are very few of those because I’m not a TV person, more of a pen and paper book crazy.

And I watch this very pretty freckle faced woman cry her eye balls out, because the theme for the day was, “I will make you a model” makeover for all contestants, and her makeover included cutting her very long hair crop short.

Personally I had never even noticed her out of the 12 girls until her hair was cut short. All of a sudden I could see the deep blue eyes and the beautiful freckles sprinkled all over her rosy cheeks. She really just stood out from all the contestants, she was beautiful, the kind of beauty that you find yourself thinking, “The universe must have really paused and watched her being created, perfection to the T”.

It had all been disguised by the long hair.

So the poor girl is crying hysterically the entire night, and at the photo shoot, and during the feedback sessions that they have with Tyra.

She is convinced that she is the ugliest woman on earth now that her hair has been cut short. She looks at the mirror and howls; she doesn’t see all that beauty she possesses, because her hair is gone.

This got me thinking, to what extend does a woman’s hair define her beauty and her worth?

At that moment it crosses my mind that, I have been informed many times that women with short or no hair are not appealing to men. They feel threatened by her, that she is not feminine enough, and rather appears rough on the edges.

This comes from many others, men and women, that have been quizzed on this topic, and also a dear friend who loves them weaves and I must say, she looks really good in them.

She is very pretty, has explored dreadlocks, short hair etc, and she looks really good in weaves. I, on the other hand, have always preferred to go natural and short. At some stage I even grew locks, mainly because I thought they would give me options to do all the beautiful styles that I see fellow sisters rocking, without actually buying 100% HUMAN hair!!

It is not that I have anything against weaves per se; it has more to do with the fact that I personally look best in my short almost no hair, or so I thought. And I have been told many times.

See, my high school was very strict with all students having short, untreated black hair. I got used to that look and wouldn’t even bother to do anything different even during holidays because I’d have to cut it again when schools open.

Even when I proceeded to tertiary and the workplace that became my trademark. I have always loved my natural look, not even dreadlocks can match up to how I feel when I have no hair whatsoever.

Or so I thought, until I was compelled to put a weave on.

You might think why do I feel I was compelled?

Well, I was single, and there was a funeral in the family, the deceased happened to be a male cousin who had plenty of gorgeous friends that came now and again for condolences. And obviously they would all be at the funeral.

Did I mention they were gorgeous? And I had been single for months, craving a little bit of attention?

I had cut my locks because it was in summer and hot, me not used to so much hair on my head they drove me crazy. I kept them, so I can re-attach them again at a later stage.

So I decided to explore the weave options, because they would serve both purposes, my hair will grow longer so I can re-attach my locks, and hopefully I will look good enough to attract a few suitors at the funeral.

The weave worked, everyone noticed, at work, at play, I had never ever had that much attention from people about my hair before.

I looked gorgeous! Yet I was feeling lost, in a foreign world and very irritated by the weave. I felt like I was betraying me, by succumbing to what didn’t come naturally to me, and I really couldn’t embrace it.

Eventually I removed it and went back to what I’m comfortable in, my locks, but the question still remained at the back of my mind,

TO WHAT EXTENT DOES A WOMAN’S HAIR DEFINE HER BEAUTY AND HER WORTH?

And so I ask….

I do, or do I?? the single 30 something dilemma

## 1

How likely is it that when one says they just want time to be with themselves , nurture that and not get into a relationship, ever just about that? And it’s not the fact that one might just be trying to find a way to cope with being on their own and maximise the time constructively.

Not that if “prince charming” (the dream guy) cropped up and had everything in the list, you would turn them down based on “I’m still attending me” line.

Or maybe just the fear of repeating history you don’t wanna relive is hindering you to be open to the idea that having hope and putting yourself out there is not so bad either.

##2

pexels-photo-892093.jpeg

This is my observation.

The older the potential bride, the more reluctant and less likely they are to get married.

The thing is, at age 30 and above you have set goals for yourself. You know exactly what you want and most times it becomes impossible to neither change nor adjust those to accommodate someone else’s.

Marriage by nature was made such that the man practically figures himself out and the woman fits into that configuration designed and set by the man.

When you as a fully grown woman who has managed to figure things out for yourself without a man, have to now squeeze into the man’s configuration, it gets challenging and most times leaves you with a hundred ex’s.

A woman that marries young figures herself out within the marriage and plans her life around the configuration. Their set values and principles are moulded around and by the commitment they have made to each other.

So what happens to the older potential bride?

Do you give up your own dreams, plans and values for the sake of having someone and reconfigure yourself into the man’s master plan?

Or do you stick to your own and spend the rest of your life in the dating scene, trying to find the one guy who is willing to take you as you are with all that you have and hope for, and make it work?

Or, do you build yourself a mansion, fill it up with all things beautiful God and man made, fulfil your wildest dreams and desires and live your life happily single ever after?

Or, do you become a nun and forget about ever touching a human being other than their hand?

mmhhhhmmmmmmm….

I would love to hear some views on this one.

Penny for your thoughts?